8.3 Preparation Manifesto
The 8.3 patch known as "Visions of N'zoth" also known as "VoN" aka "Visions of niggs" is a big patch for BFA that finally gives the players something to do on poopy retail. If you're still not up to date on how to best prepare for the patch, this manifesto will give you all the information you need to make the experience as sterile and efficient as possible. Outside the game: # Take time off work - This goes without saying but if you're stuck at work on patch day, you're a loser. Get in early and take time off - a week should be enough but if you can go for a month why not. If your boss isn't so willing, you might try risky alternative options like: threaten to #metoo your boss for sexual harassment, call in sick the night before OR use popular excuses like "stuck in traffic" or "a badger broke into my house and is blocking the door" as reasons why you can't make it to work for a week. # Stock up on food/drugs - '''You want food that requires no time cooking and is fast to eat because you want to be time efficient. We recommend sticks of butter rolled in sugar. When it comes to drinking, there's a false notion that water is good but water also makes you go to the bathroom a lot. That's a time waste and we recommend otter sweat. It keeps you refreshed but might be hard to obtain - you might want to purchase from amazon early. When it comes to drugs, we recommend coke or speed. If you don't have coke, a budget option is to snort flour because your brain will confuse it with coke and it will still give you a rush. # '''Keep a bottle and trashcan close - '''Every trip to the bathroom is 10 seconds lost each way and that's 20 seconds lost per bathroom visit. By keeping a bottle and trashcan close you can really save time. 1 minute can easily be saved across 5-6 hours. # '''Music to get you pumped - Getting through the initial 2 hours of boring content will be a challenge for any zoomer so we recommend the best music you have for getting pumped. You need this blasting in the background in order to stay invested in getting through the new boring RP crap. Inside the game: # Consumables - '''You wanna stack up on invis pots and lightspeed potions. The trick to getting through the new content is to either skip it completely with the invis, OR at least blaze through it as fast as possible. If you play a slow class as your main we suggest rerolling to a monk or a DH for faster mobility. If you main a DK or another slow class you might as well not bother, let's be real. You also want to stack up on anchors, and flasks and pots also help. # '''Pokemon battles - Just like 8.2 it appears this poopy feature is somewhat recommended if you want to min-max your rep gain. You could also consider paying one of the weebs in your guild some gold to do the pet battles for you. # Lower graphic settings and addons to strip your UI - One of the key things is to get through the patch fast. High graphic settings and having addons greatly slow down your loading screens and you want to avoid that. Lower everything to the lowest and remove your addons for now, it will help you get through the content a few minutes faster - and with the new AP grind those minutes could add up to a few hundred AP farmed in that extra time. # AP farm - If you think islands are the worst feature added to the game since the selfie cam you till be disappointed to hear that 8.3 brings more AP levels to your neck and you will be spending quite a lot of time inside islands. The new island meta for fast farming mythic islands is Prot Pala / Fire Mage / Spaz DH and if you don't play either of these we suggest you reroll, because otherwise you're gonna be so far behind even your cat will be embarrassed. Final tips: # During the intro quest there's a 3 minute 15 second unskippable RP scene of Jaina talking to Voldemort. We suggest this as the most optimal time to take your bathroom break if you gotta take a shit. There is another window 20 mins earlier when Thrall fights Vegeta but it's only a 1 minute 40 second break and unless you're confident of finishing your bathroom break in that time, you might lose out on valuable seconds worth of grinding AP. # Appear as offline on bnet. They might be your "friends" or "guildies" but ultimately any time spent whispering is time wasted. They will only drag you down and make you slower. The ignore list is also great if someone directly whispers you.